Enter Their Universe (And Explore Yours, Too)
When does being interested in someone else’s life become losing track of reciprocity in the relationship?
Dale Carnegie has a famous quote that I love: “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” But there’s a caveat.
Be curious about other people’s lives, it’s the simplest way to understand them. You’ll understand with increasing clarity how the little you know about a person doesn’t even cover the tip of the iceberg of their being.
This is something I’ve always been able to do. Not always successfully, but this is the talent that helped me book work from a young age. It’s what allowed me to befriend any and everyone I chose to talk to, and it’s definitely the thing that saved me from some of the loneliness when I traveled solo in foreign countries.
Thing is, even some of the people closest to me aren’t really a part of my world — even if I’m solidly entrenched in theirs. And therein lies the caveat.
You’ll make more friends with more interest in them than the motivation to share yourself. But when a friendship, or a relationship in general, is established, the one-way street of “be interested in them” no longer suffices.
Is there any perceived effort in reciprocation? Do they try to engage with you, show interest in the world you live in, with the unique perspective you hold?
If the answer is no, this might be a one-sided relationship. Sometimes, that’s OK. Other times, not so much.
Which is it for you?
