“I Love You, I Forgive You, I Release You.”
Three power sentences to gift yourself and break mental and emotional links to anyone or anything that is holding you back from moving forward in life.
In my first formal introduction to NLP, or neurolinguistic programming, I had a few moments of strong emotion, but the part of the discussion that has stuck with me so far is one exercise we did.
It’s a thought experiment, if you want to join me on it.
Imagine yourself in an empty stage theater. As we start, you’re sitting in the audience. Do you see the color of the seats? The width of the aisles? Do you smell that “it’s a theater” smell? Do you hear the crinkle of candy wrappers being unwrapped, as if a ghost audience surrounded you?
Place yourself there. Look around you, build this mental image one thought at a time. And then, focus all your attention on the stage.
Take a breath, and place yourself on the stage.
Look around you. Do you see the backstage? The metal frames with the big lights over your head? Do you notice marks on the ground, scuffs from performances past?
Now, look around, and see all the people who are on your mind — for whatever reason. A parent, a child, a sibling, a friend; a stranger who said something that you’re still chewing on. Maybe you need to look at one or several parts of yourself and you see them, too.
Some of these faces you see, they might have made you happy. Some of them may have broken your heart, cut you to your core, or even just said something you’re now obsessing over.
With each face you see, take a long look at their features and what you think of when you think of them. Do you like her perfume? His crooked smile? The slight twang in her voice, or their expressive eyes? Or maybe it’s something they said or did to you.
Look at each face leisurely. Take them all in, and when you feel the need to, tell them this:
“I love you. I forgive you. I release you.”
You will develop the ability to cut the ties you need to cut. You’ll be able to prioritize energizing relationships. You’ll be able to face those people you’ve released with a greater sense of tranquility, because they no longer hold power over you.
Have you ever heard the line “I’m living in your head rent-free”? Doing this little exercise will help you free up some of that mental real estate. It’ll give you control over your thoughts and who is allowed to occupy them. You now have the power to focus on the things and the people you want to, rather than those you think of in spite of yourself.
I no longer torture myself over a random conversation where I said something wrong, or miscommunicated. I no longer expend exhausting amounts of energy on others, instead giving them only as much as I want to — because now, I’m in control.
Give it a try, and tell me what you think.
